Porn is love you can see.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
