Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
