Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
