dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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