While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
