wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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