im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
