? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
