I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
