i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't put those talents on a resume
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
