Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
