i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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