I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think my moral compass just broke
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