I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
