..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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