dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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