Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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