Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
