I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
