is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
