It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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