Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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