Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
