problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
