After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
