id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
