All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize