I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
