every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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