HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
