Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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