I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
