if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she smelled like a LAN party
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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