OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
