dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
