Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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