so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
