how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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