Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
