WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
