It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
