he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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