grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
