dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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