weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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