so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
