I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
