After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
