Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
