): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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