Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
