they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize