We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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