ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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