I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
