Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
